Division and Unity Pt. 1

When I wrote the Mental Health and Writing post I noted that there was a lot that I wanted to go into that detract too much from the main post or didn’t have the time to go into. This is one of those things, as will likely be many of the other posts I make within the next few weeks. Sadly, this one will involve one of my least favorite subjects, politics, but hopefully not more than necessary, since I don’t believe politics are the only way this subject can be interpreted. 

One thing I want to say outright at the start is to address the point many people very much misunderstood about me during the 2016 presidential election. I am not a Democrat, though it seems that anyone who is against Trump is labeled one anyway. Therein lies probably my most important distinction, I am against Trump as a person, not policy or political alignment. There are many ideas that conservative voters or politicians have that I could easily see myself agreeing with if I was raised in a different way or experienced a different life, so there would be, to me, a way to have a conversation and for us to disagree. Disagreement is important to form and refine your point of view, and direction of actions.

Donald Trump does not have room in his life for anyone who disagrees with him, and that at the first go is too much for him to get my vote. I can not vote for someone so against the idea of counter opinion. People disagree all the time, and to immediately dismiss someone’s idea on the grounds that they disagree with you is such a childish idea that it immediately tells me you lack the maturity for that kind of political position. Sure, there are many other things about Trump I disagree with, but many of them stem from his immaturity.

The most important thing I can tell you about disagreements, if there are no circumstances at which you could ever find yourself agreeing with someone you disagree with, you likely do not understand their position or your disagreement. Reality is very complex and everyone has a different life and different experiences, you can find common ground to relate to one another, but similar experiences can cause different reactions in different people. Someone can suffer a trauma that causes them PTSD but then someone else can experience something similar and just move past it. Some people can forgive abusers and some cannot understand how anyone could. 

This is the world we live in and we need to keep in mind how people have deeper layers than are immediately apparent. 

Now hopefully, I haven’t stopped everyone who likes Trump from reading this far, because I am going to make a few points here that sound like I’m going to bat for them, and in a way I am. My disagreements with Trump don’t mean that I can’t empathize and try to raise up and support people who voted for him. 

There are real reasons why people feel oppressed, and ways you can sympathize or empathize with that oppression. Now, it’s true that there seem to be ways that people feel oppression but shouldn’t really, under circumstances as you understand them. So people respond with anger and offence to someone feeling oppressed, who either society or studies determine shouldn’t feel oppressed. The problem is people fall through the cracks, people are unique and simply because someone doesn't have a reason to feel oppressed, from a societal or study based understanding of things doesn’t mean someone can’t feel oppressed.

A great example of this that so many people turn a blind eye to, is Celebrity depression, and mental illness. Almost universally people question, “What does <enter any celebrity’s name here> have to be depressed about?” Simply looking at the fact that this happens and how many times Celebrities die from depression or overdose-related deaths means that even though from appearances that someone should be above feeling like they can be oppressed, it doesn't mean they can’t feel it. And as a society, we need to accept that this happens so we can try to understand why this happens.

The only way to stop someone from being a racist isn’t to call them a racist, it’s to find out what makes them racist, and most importantly in this day and age if they even are. People have real concerns that do not always cross all lines, and, there we go back to my original point. We need to listen to people who disagree with us in order to change and grow our point of view. 

Now I know many of you out there are like, “but the other side does it more, or did it first.” The only response I have is, “It doesn’t mean you have to continue it.” The only way we move past this and move forward is to make people feel that you’re listening, not tell people that they are not worth listening to. That is how we come back to how people voted for Trump. Whether you agree with it or not, he made the people who voted for him believe he was listening to them. His detractors made this worse by making it clear they weren’t listening to his supporters or even trying to. Calling someone who supports Trump a racist doesn’t help anyone, it doesn’t extend the conversation it kills it, by telling everyone you aren’t listening to his supporters. 

There are two responses you can have to someone saying something to you that offends you. Call them some form of Bigot, or ask them what makes them feel that way. Only the latter leads to a way forward, a way to understanding and getting someone to come around. Only the latter can get a Klansmen to turn in his robes. The best thing that can happen from the former, is that they double down on their stance, the worst thing is when you drive them into becoming someone worse. 

Sympathy and empathy is the only way for us to understand one another and I know it’s hard, but showing sympathy or empathy to someone you have no reason you can find to do so is the only way to stop the narrative control someone like Donald Trump has on them. The uncomfortable part of this that I have to point out is that if you ever said anything along the lines of, “You will vote/have voted for Trump so you’re a bigot.” you’re as responsible for Trump’s win as anyone who actually voted for him.

The only way to defeat Trump is to stand together, to help people, to support each other in situations that maybe you don’t understand why they should need support. Now, this might seem like I’m suggesting you just support the idea of someone being a bigot, but that would be a complete misunderstanding of what I’ve already listed out as a form of support. I’ve made it clear that just calling someone some form of Bigot and closing them off isn’t helping them, it isn’t supporting them, it is another form of division and division is what makes someone like Trump stronger. 

Supporting someone who is a bigot or seems to be one, is finding out what makes them seem that way to you because maybe they aren’t a bigot just a frustrated person who just needs to be listened to so they can work through their own frustrations. Hell, even a Bigot could actually just be the same, and just needs someone to listen to them. As anyone can tell you, the best way for you to understand something is for you to try and explain it to someone else. The sure-fire way to get a bigot to see their bigotry is to have them explain it to you, and only after they have done so is there a way for you to sympathize and find a way to get them to sympathize with the subject of their bigotry. To get them to see where they are being unfair. It does not help in any way for you to be unfair to them.

The biggest response I could imagine from this, which of course is limited by my point of view and understanding, is, “Do they deserve that much?” and you know what? Maybe it’s being an Atheist that teaches me this, but I actually do not believe anyone is below deserving a path to being a better person. Everyone, even people we as a society would label as a monster, deserve a path to become someone better. Does that mean I believe that any victim should have to forgive the perpetrator? No. That’s a personal thing and not my place to say or dictate. 

Ultimately all this is my opinion and not hard rules, these are things anyone has any and every right to disagree with. I would love to hear them, so I can improve and understand things better, or grow my point of view. That is my view on unity, it isn’t agreeing, it’s disagreeing and compromising, it’s about growing and improving as both people and society. 

United we stand, divided we fall. It is a firm belief within me, that we only succeed working together. We only lose when we stop listening to one another when we stop sympathizing and empathizing with each other. Anyone who tries to peddle in division rather than unity will always turn me against them, but as I already said, that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t help them see what appear to be their flaws and help them overcome them if I was given the chance, or have them expand my worldview, because maybe, just maybe their flaws aren’t what I think they are, and I need to work harder to understand them as a person.

I have to stop for now but will be back with more arguments.